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Pick at the pops: 02 April 2007

Our weekly round-up of the weird and wonderful world of pop music...

Confrontation marks the start of Holy Week, with mouthpiece of a has-been generation Noel Gallagher verbally squaring up to probably-never-will-be, Kele Okereke of Bloc Party. Gallagher reckons Bloc Party are a band straight off University Challenge – a statement which, as Kele says, would have had slightly more impact if Noel hadn’t also used it to describe Travis a couple of years back. As with the songs, Noel mate, it probably would’ve sounded better coming out of Liam’s mouth.

A more intriguing match-up is suggested by news that Paul Weller spat at a picture of Sting backstage at the Royal Albert Hall last week. According to witnesses, he worked up a fair bit of phlegm too. Lovely. Still - forget all these reunion tours – the public would probably pay king’s ransoms to see ‘80s pop stars sparring in the ring. Sting and Weller would be a fine exhibition of well-preserved middle-aged fellows knocking six bells out of each other, but how about the Battle of the Bulge? Yes, Tony Hadley and Simon Le Bon would be a face-off to savour.

Speaking of unsightly bulges… sorry, speaking of well-preserved middle-aged chaps, Sir Elton John celebrated his 60th birthday recently. You may have heard about it. Unless you’re dead.

Unable to make the party – indeed, unable to attend any function over here at all - was pigtailed US rapper Snoop Dogg, who failed to gain a visa to pursue his UK tour with P Diddy on account of his impressively long, er, rap sheet. Diddy, showing a mastery of spin that could put him in the frame for the Prime Minister’s job if Gordon Brown doesn’t win over the punters with his heady combination of dourness and tight-fistedness, announced that the visa denial sent a positive message out to the troubled youth of this country: “Put the guns and knives down”. It would be churlish to add a sarky comment here, as we’re sure Diddy’s claims are born of nothing more than pure unsullied world-hugging altruism. Really.

Let’s carry it over to the real event of the week: Bono’s knighthood. Of course, it’s only honorary and he can’t be called “Sir”, but the great man has found a way around this – we can call him “Lord of lords, your demi-godness”. He’s only joking. Right? It’s hard to tell when you can’t see his eyes…

Matthew Horton

Picture: Empics

• 26/03/2007: Jagger and Trousersnake snubbed >>
• 19/03/2007: Ray Quinn and the death of pop >>
• 12/03/2007: The Jackson Five eye some filthy lucre >>
• 05/03/2007: George is on his way to Wembley >>
• 26/02/2007: Mel C holds up Spice reunion >>
• 19/02/2007: Joss Stone's big love >>
• 12/02/2007: Lily conquers America >>
• 05/02/2007: Oasis to meet Ringo at last >>
• 29/01/2007: Amy Winehouse wows the Savoy >>
• 22/01/2007: Chris Martin: the B-Boy >>
• 15/01/2007: Whitney auctions her belongings >>
• 08/01/2007: The Police to reform? >>
• 02/01/2007: James Brown RIP >>
• 18/12/2006: Girls Aloud v Lily Allen >>
• 04/12/2006: Potty Pete pays the penalty >>
• 27/11/2006: Nelly says no to Playboy >>
• 20/11/2006: Queen's greatest-selling hits >>
• 13/11/2006: Ms Dynamite's high speed crash >>
• 06/11/2006: Glastonbury to go "gay"? >>
• 30/10/2006: McFly hit top spot yet again >>
• 16/10/2006: Girls Aloud v All Saints in war of words >>
• 09/10/2006: Razorlight ready for world domination >>
• 02/10/2006: Madonna's record breaking millions >>
• 25/09/2006: When pop stars reunite >>
• 18/09/2006: Robbie's new footballing chum >>
• 11/09/2006: Monkeys' Mercury delight >>
• 04/09/2006: Foo Fighters save miners >>
• 28/08/2006: Britney gets banned in Asia >>
• 21/08/2006: Radiohead's grumpy greatest hits >>
• 14/08/2006: Natasha Bedingfield's Rocky return >>
• 07/08/2006: The heavyweight return of Meat Loaf >>